A brief response to a complex question

I want to briefly address a question I get asked quite often by friends and family in the UK and the U.S.:

‘Do you ever plan to move back to the U.S.?’

The short response is, well, no. Now, before the derision begins, let me explain.

I will not move back to the states because I have a serious issue with the fact my partner (who is from Poland) is unable to emigrate to the U.S. due to a single factor: he is a he.

I am not forbidden to move back. I can return anytime. Of course doing so means leaving my partner behind because even though some states now recognise gay marriage, it is still a basic fact that immigration is a federal – not state – privilege.

Living as an ex-pat is not a choice, but a necessity. I find it disingenuous when I go through U.S. Customs and get asked the question ‘Why do you live abroad – is your country not good enough for you?’ It confronts my determination and my beliefs. It questions my loyalty and my convictions.

Quite simply, it does not take into account that it is in fact my Country that has made the determination that ‘I’ am not good enough for ‘it’.

I will not belabour the point. I am not going to ask a country for a right that it is simply not ready to grant.

I live where I am welcome and that is enough for me.